Finding his way into the memorial once more sometime a bit later in his shore leave, Vara'l had planted himself near one of the walls of the room. The wall near Mir and other the other new names. The names that had once included one more than itself, one that had included one more name than it once had. A name partially painted out. A name that in the silence he contemplated the presence of, covered as it was. A name he mostly related to but also sometimes wondered about. Was it his? Did it truly belong to him despite all that had occurred, all that had been done to him, the crucible in which he'd developed?
Was he, removed from who he'd once been as he was, still the person to who that named belonged? Was he truly Vara'l tr'Hara of the house Hara. The smith and soldier who'd once served in the Imperial fleet and through that had remained loyal to his house. To a house that that empire would have destroyed if they'd known everything about it. Truly known everything about it, specifically about its members and what they'd believed. Information he had, at points, not even known about.
Would that man have recognized him now? The one who'd stood at the head of dust caked survivors, watched at the corridor as the dark peace had been shattered by red lights, the one who'd had his hearing snatched from him and had stood back up and carried on? He wasn't entirely sure about that, the people who could have told him that were names carved into a wall..or into his soul, remembered despite everything snatched from him. A memory that had returned to him quickly. Elements he missed them. He'd missed them more keenly in recent times as his firstborn was off on deployment, as he waited with baited breath for word.
He missed his old friends. He had..a new friend now. But.. part of him hesitated to concede to that. Part of him still struggled with that. Still struggled with the fact someone had befriended him. Perhaps more than one someone.